While visiting my family at Christmas, my six year-old nephew, Parker, asked me "How does a pirate go on vacation?"

I had no idea, of course, but I was delighted to learn he did so "In an R-V!" Needless to say, we laughed ourselves silly, scowling like the scurvy scalliwags we were while stretching our "R-'s"in true pirate fashion. "Shiver me timbers, matey." AARRRRRRGH!

The following compendium is quite simply more of the same, so do enjoy. Also, if you have any pirate jokes of your own, be sure to click Contribute to share them.


Q: How did the pirate accompany himself on the guitar?
A: With an R–monica.
     -- By Marie Anne Chiment, Drexel Hill, PA, US --


Q: Why did the pirate get kicked out of the barbershop quartet?
A: He couldn't sing in h–R–mony.
     -- By Barbara Chiment, Ramona, CA, US --


Q: Why did the pirate become a pirate?
A: Because he was drummed out of the R–my.
     -- By Marie Anne Chiment, Drexel Hill, PA, US --


Q: What kind of animal did the pirate have for a pet?
A: An R–dvark.
     -- By Marie Anne Chiment, Drexel Hill, PA, US --


Q: Why did the pirate sail to the North Pole?
A: He wanted to feel the R–ctic temperatures.
     -- By Marie Anne Chiment, Drexel Hill, PA, US --


Q: Why can't the pirate eat spicy foods?
A: He suffers from frequent h–R–tburn.
     -- By Barbara Chiment, Ramona, CA, US --


Q: What did the pirate say when he left Japan?
A: Domo R–igato.
     -- By Marie Anne Chiment, Drexel Hill, PA, US --


Q: Why did the pirate want to go to R–vard?
A: He wanted to study R–cheology.
     -- By Marie Anne Chiment, Drexel Hill, PA, US --