While visiting my family at Christmas, my six year-old nephew, Parker, asked me "How does a pirate go on vacation?"

I had no idea, of course, but I was delighted to learn he did so "In an R-V!" Needless to say, we laughed ourselves silly, scowling like the scurvy scalliwags we were while stretching our "R-'s"in true pirate fashion. "Shiver me timbers, matey." AARRRRRRGH!

The following compendium is quite simply more of the same, so do enjoy. Also, if you have any pirate jokes of your own, be sure to click Contribute to share them.


Q: Why can't the pirate eat spicy foods?
A: He suffers from frequent h–R–tburn.
     -- By Barbara Chiment, Ramona, CA, US --


Q: What kind of animal did the pirate have for a pet?
A: An R–dvark.
     -- By Marie Anne Chiment, Drexel Hill, PA, US --


Q: Where was the pirate born?
A: R–dsley.
     -- By Jeremy Shepherd, New York, NY, US --


Q: What was it about Crook that annoyed the pirate?
A: He was an R–dhearted, R–gumentative, horse’s R–rse.
     -- By Marie Anne Chiment, Drexel Hill, PA, US --


Q: Why did the pirate study opera?
A: He wanted to sing an R–ria.
     -- By Marie Anne Chiment, Drexel Hill, PA, US --


Q: How did Crook get the pirate to eat the R–senic?
A: He hid it in an R–tichoke.
     -- By Marie Anne Chiment, Drexel Hill, PA, US --


Q: What's the latest brilliant design by pirate costumer Marie Anne Chiment?
A: Blue/R–ange.
     -- By Kim Wiley, Webster Groves, MO, US --


Q: Why did the pirate save up his coins?
A: So he could use them in the penny R–cade.
     -- By Marie Anne Chiment, Drexel Hill, PA, US --