While visiting my family at Christmas, my six year-old nephew, Parker, asked me "How does a pirate go on vacation?"

I had no idea, of course, but I was delighted to learn he did so "In an R-V!" Needless to say, we laughed ourselves silly, scowling like the scurvy scalliwags we were while stretching our "R-'s"in true pirate fashion. "Shiver me timbers, matey." AARRRRRRGH!

The following compendium is quite simply more of the same, so do enjoy. Also, if you have any pirate jokes of your own, be sure to click Contribute to share them.


Q: Why did the pirate keep getting his feelings hurt?
A: Because he wore his R–t on his sleeve.
     -- By Marie Anne Chiment, Drexel Hill, PA, US --


Q: What's the pirates favorite stop on the N & W line to Queens?
A: Ditm–R–s Boulevard.
     -- By Chris Mitchell, El Paso, TX, US --


Q: In what branch of the R– my did the pirate serve?
A: R–tillery.
     -- By Marie Anne Chiment, Drexel Hill, PA, US --


Q: What's a pirate's favorite holiday?
A: R–bor Day.
     -- By Marie Anne Chiment, Drexel Hill, PA, US --


Q: Why did the pirate run away?
A: He didn’t want to get R–rested.
     -- By David Mills, Yonkers, NY, US --


Q: Why did the pirate become a pirate?
A: Because he was drummed out of the R–my.
     -- By Marie Anne Chiment, Drexel Hill, PA, US --


Q: Why did he shop there?
A: Because he could get a ba R–gain.
     -- By Jeremy Shepherd, New York, NY, US --


Q: Why did the pirate buy deodorant for his crew?
A: They had smelly R–mpits.
     -- By Marie Anne Chiment, Drexel Hill, PA, US --