While visiting my family at Christmas, my six year-old nephew, Parker, asked me "How does a pirate go on vacation?"

I had no idea, of course, but I was delighted to learn he did so "In an R-V!" Needless to say, we laughed ourselves silly, scowling like the scurvy scalliwags we were while stretching our "R-'s"in true pirate fashion. "Shiver me timbers, matey." AARRRRRRGH!

The following compendium is quite simply more of the same, so do enjoy. Also, if you have any pirate jokes of your own, be sure to click Contribute to share them.


Q: Who was the pirate’s favorite folk singer?
A: R–lo Guthrie.
     -- By Marie Anne Chiment, Drexel Hill, PA, US --


Q: Why did the pirate turn his boat and make a run for it?
A: He was being chased by an R–mada.
     -- By David Mills, Yonkers, NY, US --


Q: What kind of animal did the pirate have for a pet?
A: An R–dvark.
     -- By Marie Anne Chiment, Drexel Hill, PA, US --


Q: Why did the pirate have swollen joints?
A: Because he had R–thritis.
     -- By Marie Anne Chiment, Drexel Hill, PA, US --


Q: Why did the islanders fear the pirate’s Jolly Roger flag?
A: Because it was an R–binger of doom.
     -- By Marie Anne Chiment, Drexel Hill, PA, US --


Q: What do you do with a drunken pirate?
A: You R–ass and R–angue him.
     -- By Louis S. Berman, Drexel Hill, PA, US --


Q: Where did the pirate find an R–dvark?
A: In R–ruba.
     -- By Marie Anne Chiment, Drexel Hill, PA, US --


Q: Why did the pirate join forces with Jason to seek the golden fleece?
A: He wanted to be an R–gonaut.
     -- By Marie Anne Chiment, Drexel Hill, PA, US --