While visiting my family at Christmas, my six year-old nephew, Parker, asked me "How does a pirate go on vacation?"

I had no idea, of course, but I was delighted to learn he did so "In an R-V!" Needless to say, we laughed ourselves silly, scowling like the scurvy scalliwags we were while stretching our "R-'s"in true pirate fashion. "Shiver me timbers, matey." AARRRRRRGH!

The following compendium is quite simply more of the same, so do enjoy. Also, if you have any pirate jokes of your own, be sure to click Contribute to share them.

Q: What was the pirate’s favorite Elvis song?
A: "R–U lonesome tonight?"
     -- By Chris Mitchell, El Paso, TX, US --

Q: Why did the pirate get kicked out of the barbershop quartet?
A: He couldn't sing in h–R–mony.
     -- By Barbara Chiment, Ramona, CA, US --

Q: After the pirate ate the R–senic, how was he saved?
A: With R–tificial respiration.
     -- By Marie Anne Chiment, Drexel Hill, PA, US --

Q: What was the pirate’s favorite Christmas carol?
A: "R–k The Herald Angels Sing".
     -- By Marie Anne Chiment, Drexel Hill, PA, US --

Q: In what branch of the R– my did the pirate serve?
A: R–tillery.
     -- By Marie Anne Chiment, Drexel Hill, PA, US --

Q: Who is the pirate's favorite American author?
A: M–R–k Twain
     -- By Barbara Chiment, Ramona, CA, US --

Q: What did the pirate say when he left France?
A: R–revoir.
     -- By Marie Anne Chiment, Drexel Hill, PA, US --

Q: How did the Captian Crook try to poison the pirate?
A: With R–senic.
     -- By Marie Anne Chiment, Drexel Hill, PA, US --