While visiting my family at Christmas, my six year-old nephew, Parker, asked me "How does a pirate go on vacation?"

I had no idea, of course, but I was delighted to learn he did so "In an R-V!" Needless to say, we laughed ourselves silly, scowling like the scurvy scalliwags we were while stretching our "R-'s"in true pirate fashion. "Shiver me timbers, matey." AARRRRRRGH!

The following compendium is quite simply more of the same, so do enjoy. Also, if you have any pirate jokes of your own, be sure to click Contribute to share them.


Q: Why was the pirate afraid of spiders?
A: Because he had R–achniphobia.
     -- By Marie Anne Chiment, Drexel Hill, PA, US --


Q: What's the pirates favorite stop on the N & W line to Queens?
A: Ditm–R–s Boulevard.
     -- By Chris Mitchell, El Paso, TX, US --


Q: Why did the pirate study opera?
A: He wanted to sing an R–ria.
     -- By Marie Anne Chiment, Drexel Hill, PA, US --


Q: Who was the famous Greek mathema-pirate?
A: Pythagoras, he gave us pi–R–squared.
     -- By David Barker, O'Fallon, IL, US --


Q: What was it about Crook that annoyed the pirate?
A: He was an R–dhearted, R–gumentative, horse’s R–rse.
     -- By Marie Anne Chiment, Drexel Hill, PA, US --


Q: What state did the "Whitewater" pirates come from?
A: R–kansas!
     -- By Kim Wiley, Webster Groves, MO, US --


Q: Was playing the R- monica easy for the pirate?
A: No. It was an R–duous task.
     -- By Marie Anne Chiment, Drexel Hill, PA, US --


Q: Why couldn't the young pirate get into the movie?
A: Because it was rated R–!
     -- By Kim Wiley, Webster Groves, MO, US --