While visiting my family at Christmas, my six year-old nephew, Parker, asked me "How does a pirate go on vacation?"

I had no idea, of course, but I was delighted to learn he did so "In an R-V!" Needless to say, we laughed ourselves silly, scowling like the scurvy scalliwags we were while stretching our "R-'s"in true pirate fashion. "Shiver me timbers, matey." AARRRRRRGH!

The following compendium is quite simply more of the same, so do enjoy. Also, if you have any pirate jokes of your own, be sure to click Contribute to share them.


Q: Why did the pirate become a pirate?
A: Because he was drummed out of the R–my.
     -- By Marie Anne Chiment, Drexel Hill, PA, US --


Q: Who is the pirate's favorite American author?
A: M–R–k Twain
     -- By Barbara Chiment, Ramona, CA, US --


Q: Who was the pirate’s favorite television curmudgeon?
A: R–chie Bunker.
     -- By Marie Anne Chiment, Drexel Hill, PA, US --


Q: How did Crook get the pirate to eat the R–senic?
A: He hid it in an R–tichoke.
     -- By Marie Anne Chiment, Drexel Hill, PA, US --


Q: How did the pirate accompany himself on the guitar?
A: With an R–monica.
     -- By Marie Anne Chiment, Drexel Hill, PA, US --


Q: What was the pirate’s favorite Christmas carol?
A: "R–k The Herald Angels Sing".
     -- By Marie Anne Chiment, Drexel Hill, PA, US --


Q: Where did the pirate hide his boat?
A: In the R–chipaligo.
     -- By Marie Anne Chiment, Drexel Hill, PA, US --


Q: How as the pirate conceived?
A: R–tificial insemination.
     -- By Marie Anne Chiment, Drexel Hill, PA, US --