While visiting my family at Christmas, my six year-old nephew, Parker, asked me "How does a pirate go on vacation?"

I had no idea, of course, but I was delighted to learn he did so "In an R-V!" Needless to say, we laughed ourselves silly, scowling like the scurvy scalliwags we were while stretching our "R-'s"in true pirate fashion. "Shiver me timbers, matey." AARRRRRRGH!

The following compendium is quite simply more of the same, so do enjoy. Also, if you have any pirate jokes of your own, be sure to click Contribute to share them.


Q: What was the pirate’s favorite Christmas carol?
A: "R–k The Herald Angels Sing".
     -- By Marie Anne Chiment, Drexel Hill, PA, US --


Q: Where does the pirate shop for a suit?
A: At the R–mani Exchange.
     -- By Jeremy Shepherd, New York, NY, US --


Q: What's the pirate's second most favorite holiday?
A: R–mistice Day.
     -- By Marie Anne Chiment, Drexel Hill, PA, US --


Q: Who was the pirate’s favorite folk singer?
A: R–lo Guthrie.
     -- By Marie Anne Chiment, Drexel Hill, PA, US --


Q: Where did the pirate hide his boat?
A: In the R–chipaligo.
     -- By Marie Anne Chiment, Drexel Hill, PA, US --


Q: How as the pirate conceived?
A: R–tificial insemination.
     -- By Marie Anne Chiment, Drexel Hill, PA, US --


Q: Why did the pirate keep getting his feelings hurt?
A: Because he wore his R–t on his sleeve.
     -- By Marie Anne Chiment, Drexel Hill, PA, US --


Q: What will the final battle that pits pirates against the world be called?
A: R–mageddon.
     -- By David Barker, O'Fallon, IL, US --